When a coworker loses a loved one, it’s not always clear how to respond. You want to acknowledge what happened and offer support, but you also don’t want to overstep or say something wrong.
This guide is designed to help you navigate that moment, especially if your team is pooling funds to send a gift. Below, you’ll find tips for choosing a meaningful gesture, writing a message, and ways to continue offering support over time.
Whether you're organizing something as a group or reaching out on your own, the goal is still the same: to show care in a way that’s thoughtful, respectful, and easy to receive.
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Why Reaching Out Matters
Grief is isolating. And at work, where conversations tend to stay surface-level, that loneliness can intensify. People often avoid the topic of death altogether—not because they don’t care, but because they’re afraid of saying the wrong thing.
However, silence isn’t the right approach. It can make someone feel invisible, and even more alone.
A kind gesture, especially from teammates, can help change that. What matters is showing that their loss hasn’t been overlooked, and that you’re there to support them.
Before You Choose a Gift
First, take a few minutes to plan. The most meaningful gestures are the ones that feel considered. Not expensive or flashy; just well thought-out.
Here are a few things to keep in mind:
Consider Who Passed Away
The nature of the relationship should guide your approach. The death of a parent, partner, or child may call for something more personal. Whereas the passing of a grandparent or close friend may be acknowledged differently. Either way, the goal is to meet the moment with care and empathy.
Consider Cultural or Religious Context
Some families follow specific customs around mourning, meals, or receiving gifts. If you’re aware of the person's cultural or religious background, take a moment to learn what gestures might be most appropriate.
Even if you’re unsure, don’t let that uncertainty keep you from reaching out. A thoughtful message and a modest, respectful gift are always better than silence. Most people won’t be offended by a well-intentioned gesture, especially one that comes from a place of care.
Consider Your Relationship to Them
If you work closely with the person, something more personal might be appropriate. If your connection is fairly formal, a general gift from the group still shows care, and is often appreciated more than you realize.
Consider Group Size and Budget
With more contributors, you can consider a larger care package, prepaid meal delivery, or a service like house cleaning or laundry pickup. However, what matters most isn’t the cost; it’s choosing something that’s thoughtful and easy to accept.
You’re looking for a gift that feels supportive, and that doesn’t require a response or extra work for the person receiving it. The best gestures are the ones that feel comforting, useful, and low-pressure.
When to Reach Out to a Grieving Coworker
If you can, send something within the first few days—especially if your coworker is out of office or has shared the news with the team.
That said, there’s no time limit for kindness. A note or gift that arrives after the memorial, or even weeks later, can still carry a lot of meaning.
Grief doesn’t follow a schedule, and your gesture is valuable, no matter when it arrives.
What to Send: Five Ideas That Truly Help a Grieving Coworker
The most effective gifts are simple, comforting and easy to receive. They don’t create pressure or require a response—they just offer care in a tangible way.
Some options to consider:
1. A Care Package
This is one of the simplest and most thoughtful ways to show support. It helps soften a moment that feels isolating, and reminds someone that they’re not alone.
Our recommendation
The Build Your Care Package option from Here For You. They specialize in care packages for people going through grief, illness, and other hard moments. The founders, Kellyn and Nate, started the company to honor their loved ones. They have a deep commitment to helping others who’ve experienced a loss, and it shows in the empathy and intention behind every box.
Why we recommend it
- Customizable: You choose exactly what goes inside. Options include herbal teas, snacks, bath products, and other small comforts that encourage rest and care.
- Thoughtfully packaged: Each item is carefully arranged. The presentation is clean, simple, and appropriate for a work setting.
- Includes a handwritten note: You can add a personal message when ordering, and their team will handwrite it for you. It’s a small gesture, but one that tends to stay with the person receiving it.
- Easy to accept: No instructions. Nothing to assemble. No expectation of a reply. Just a kind reminder that someone is thinking of them.
2. An Alternative to Flowers
Fresh flowers are nice, but wilt quickly. A potted plant lasts longer and is just as easy to send.
Our recommendation
The Peace Lily from Lively Root. Their team has decades of horticultural experience, and you see it in how well their plants grow, how carefully they’re packed, and how reliably they arrive. Lively Root believes plants can bring calm and comfort in hard moments, and that’s certainly a sentiment we share.
Why we recommend it
- Long-lasting: Peace Lilies can thrive for years. They offer a symbol of care that stays present long after the first week.
- Workplace-friendly: These plants are compact, low-maintenance, and do well in lower light. This makes them easy to keep at a desk or shared space.
- Easy to send: Plants arrive pre-potted, carefully packaged, and ready to display.
- Symbolic meaning: Peace Lilies are associated with healing and remembrance, making them especially fitting in times of loss.
3. Food Support
Grief can make even the basics feel impossible. Things like prepaid meal delivery or grocery cards can make a big difference for someone’s day-to-day.
Our recommendation
Meal Train, a volunteer-driven platform. It helps teams organize and deliver meals during difficult times. What began as a personal project by a group of friends is now a tool that’s facilitated millions of meals. Their platform offers a perfect mix of support: practical, thoughtful, and easy to arrange.
Why we recommend it
- Simple to coordinate: Once you set up a page, teammates sign up for meal slots. You decide dates, time, and other preferences.
- Supports the household: It helps your coworker, as well as anyone else they’re caring for: a partner, kids, or other family members.
- No work for the recipient: Meals show up ready to eat. There’s nothing to prep, cook, or plan.
- Continued support: You can schedule meals for weeks or months so that help arrives both immediately and over time.
4. A Comfort Item
Grief is both emotional and physical. Comfort items can help someone slow down, rest, and make the overwhelming moments feel a little more manageable.
Our recommendation
The Cotton Napper from Bearaby. It’s a weighted blanket made from breathable organic cotton. Bearaby designs their products with rest in mind. Their focus on comfort, simplicity, and well-being makes them a helpful choice for difficult periods—and aligns with our belief in support that soothes and restores.
Why we recommend it
- Calming: The gentle weight can help ease tension and support better sleep.
- Simple to use: Unlike heated blankets or massagers, there are no cords or remotes needed.
- Work-friendly design: The soft knit and neutral colors make it easy to keep in a home office, living room, or shared space.
- Durable: Made with high-quality materials that feel good, and that hold up well over time.
5. A Helpful Service
When we’re grieving, it’s extremely difficult to keep up with everyday responsibilities. That’s where a task-based service—like house cleaning or pet care—can help ease the load.
Our recommendation
House Cleaning Services from Care.com. They’ve spent years building a platform that connects people with trusted professionals. Their large network, strong safety standards, and focus on dependability make it easy to offer tangible support. For someone who’s just experienced a loss, this helps create space to regroup and heal.
Why we recommend it
- Practical support: A clean home can make it easier for someone to rest, focus on their needs, or care for family.
- Flexible options: You can book a one-time deep clean, a few hours of tidying, or recurring visits.
- Broad availability: With coverage in cities and towns across the U.S., it’s a reliable option no matter where your coworker lives.
- Easy to coordinate: They make it simple for you to manage booking and payment. No effort required from the person receiving help.
What to Write in the Card to a Grieving Coworker
Keep it short and kind. Avoid clichés, and don’t try to explain the loss. Instead, focus on acknowledging it and offering support.
Here are some examples that strike the right tone:
- Thinking of you and sending care from all of us.
- Wishing you rest and comfort in the days ahead.
- Please don’t feel any pressure to respond. We just wanted you to know we’re here.
- Holding you in our thoughts.
Sample card text
Hi [Name],
We were so sorry to hear about your loss. Please know that all of us are thinking of you and sending our support.
There’s no need to reply. We just wanted you to know that we’re here for you, and that we’re holding you in our thoughts during this difficult time.
Avoid phrases like “everything happens for a reason” or “they’re in a better place.” These kinds of comments, even though well-meaning, can feel dismissive. Acknowledge the loss without trying to make sense of it.
Also, as a kind reminder, gifts like these don’t require a thank you card. In times of loss, it’s understood that simply receiving the gesture is enough.
Other Ways to Support Your Grieving Coworker
A gift is a great start, but continued support is just as important. Here are some ways to show up after the initial outreach:
Check in Before They Return
A short message the day before they come back can ease the transition. Let them know that there’s no pressure to talk, and that you’re glad they’re rejoining the team.
Acknowledge the Loss
Even a simple “I’ve been thinking of you” can mean a lot. In Option B, Sheryl Sandberg describes this as naming the elephant in the room. Avoiding the topic might feel polite, but it can unintentionally deepen the sense of isolation.
Be Specific When Offering Help
It’s common to say, “Let me know if you need anything,” but that can actually put more pressure on the person who’s grieving. It asks them to think of something you can do, which can feel like one more task in an already overwhelming time.
Instead, try offering something specific. It takes the burden off of them and makes it easier to accept the help.
Here are a few examples:
- I’d be happy to help with email responses. Would you like me to draft anything for you?
- We’re ordering lunch. Can we send some your way?
- Want me to handle that client call tomorrow?
- Would you like me to update the team on that project for you?
- Would it help if I covered your meetings this afternoon?
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Remember the Difficult Dates
Grief often resurfaces around birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays. A short message during those times is simple, but also incredibly meaningful.
Final Thoughts
Supporting a grieving coworker doesn’t require a perfect script or a dramatic gesture. What matters is your willingness to try, and to show up with sincerity and care.
If your team is pooling its resources, use that opportunity to send something thoughtful. Choose a gift that’s easy to receive. Write a message that’s clear and kind. And don’t forget to check in—especially once the initial period of support has passed.
You don’t need to have all the right words. You just need to care enough to reach out. That’s what helps, and often, it’s what people carry with them and remember the most.
Elayne makes estate settlement simple
Elayne makes estate settlement simple
